The Peter Parker Movie
by Alice Forshadow
Summary: Once upon a time, Alice loved SpongeBob and Avengers. In order to cheer up her fans (and the Avengers fanbase) after the events of Endgame, she decided to write the largest, most random parody ever, based off some of her favorite characters and the SpongeBob Squarepants movie, as Peter, Ned, and Michelle go on a quest to save Stark Industries. No spoilers, I promise!
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1:

Peter had never been so excited before today.

Ten minutes before the bell rang to go home, he was sitting in his study, combing his hair with a comb while looking in a mirror.

"Wow Peter. I've never seen you be so obsessed about how you look." replied Michelle, looking up from her sketchpad.

"Last night I had that dream again." replied Peter.

"That dream where you save Stark Industries from space pirates and robots?" asked Michelle. "And get promoted to be an Avenger?"

Peter pulled out his assignment book and opened it up to today's date. There, surrounded by pictures of Avengers, was "New Avenger Announcement Today".

"Today's the announcement of the new Avenger!" Peter exclaimed.

"Shh!" the teacher told him.

"Wonder who it's going to be." replied Michelle. "Let's just ask Spider Man's many awesome battles he's helped win!"

"SHH!" the teacher exclaimed.

The bell rang, indicating the end of the school day.

Peter jumped up, grabbed his backpack, and eagerly walked out of the school.

"I'm ready, promotion! I'm ready, promotion!" he sang.

* * *

Tony was in his lab, working on fixing the glove on his iron man suit, and walked over to the balcony to get some fresh air. He looked over and screamed when he saw Spider Man against the wall to the right of him.

"Peter! What are you doing here?" Tony asked.

"I have to tell you something Mr. Stark." replied Peter.

"Can't it wait until later?" asked Tony.

"There's no balcony later." replied Peter.

"What do you want?"

"I just want to let you know I'll be thanking you in my Avengers acceptance speech today."

"Please get out."

"Okay Mr. Stark!"

Peter then eagerly climbed down the wall of the balcony.

"That kid is going to be the end of me." sighed Tony, walking inside.

* * *

Once patrols were over, Peter was walking to the ceremony when Ned and Michelle caught up to him.

"Is that the new Avenger I sense?" asked Ned. "Congratulations buddy!"

"Thanks Ned. And after the big promotion, we're going to party til we're purple!" Peter exclaimed.

"I love being purple!" Ned exclaimed.

"We're going to the place where all the action is!" Peter exclaimed.

"You don't mean..." asked Ned eagerly.

"We're going to get ice cream!" Peter exclaimed. "I've got to get going. See you at the ceremony!"

"See you there!" Ned called.

"I'm ready, promotion, I'm ready, promotion. " Peter sang as he walked down the street.

* * *

"Good afternoon Queens! I'm reporter Elizabeth Brant, here live from the new Avengers initiation ceremony, where we welcome a new avenger member to the world's beloved team!" Elizabeth announced. Tony Stark and Pepper Potts walked past.

"Congratulations Mr. Stark!" exclaimed Elizabeth.

"Thank you!" replied Tony.

"What inspired you to add a new Avenger to the ranks of the world's mightiest heroes?" asked Elizabeth.

"It's all about making sure someone who wants to make the world a better place can work with us and help change the world." replied Tony.

Meanwhile, Justin Hammer was sitting in Hammer Industries at his desk. watching the news unfold on his laptop.

"Curses!" he shouted. "It's not fair! Stark and his wife are being interviewed by news reporters, and I haven't sold a single piece of technology!"

Hammer looked at his array of laptops around his desk before sighing and putting his head on his desk as his secretary walked in.

"Don't get worked up again Justin." sighed his secretary. "I just polished the desk."

"Oh Carol, If I only managed to take Stark's success, all of his ideas, then I'd be even richer than him!" Hammer exclaimed. "I've exhausted every plan in my filing cabinet, A to Y."

"A to Y?" asked Carol.

"Yeah, A to Y. You know, the alphabet." replied Justin.

"What about Z?"

"Z?"

"Yeah, Z. The letter after Y."

Justin opened his desk drawer, rifling through papers until he found the file labeled Z.

"Plan Z!" exclaimed Hammer. "Here it is! Just like you said!"

"Oh boy." sighed Carol, walking out of the room.

* * *

Justin walked out of his corporation and into town, looking at Plan Z.

"Oh, it's evil." he said. "It's diabolical." He smelled it. "It's lemon scented."

Hammer looked up at the crowd of people walking to Avengers Tower.

"Enjoy today Stark! Because by tomorrow, I'll have your ideas! And then everyone will go to Hammer Corporations, and I will rule the world!" Hammer exclaimed. "ALL HAIL HAMMER! ALL HAIL HAM-"

And then he was knocked into by an eager fifth teen year old teenage boy.

"Oh! Sorry Mr. Hammer!" Peter apologized. "Are you on your way to the New Avenger ceremony?"

"No, I'm not on my way to the 'new Avenger ceremony'." replied Hammer, recollecting himself. "I'm busy trying to plan to take over the world!"

"Well, good luck with that." replied Peter, walking around him. "I'm ready, promotion, I'm ready, promotion-"

"Stupid kid." replied Hammer, shaking his head as he walked away.

* * *

All of New York (and then some) had gathered in front of Avenger's tower to see the new Avenger being revealed as Tony Stark walked onstage.

"Welcome, welcome everyone to the new avenger ceremony!" exclaimed Tony.

"We paid five dollars for this?" asked Michelle to Flash.

"I paid twenty!" Flash responded.

Peter was standing in the crowd, eagerly bouncing up and down.

"Now, the moment you've all been waiting for, the name of our new hero!" exclaimed Tony.

"YEAH! NOW WE'RE TALKING!" exclaimed Peter from the crowd, applauding.

"A loyal, hardworking hero." replied Tony.

_Yes. _thought Peter.

"The obvious choice for the job."

_He's right._

"His first name is Peter."

_It's obviously me. _

"Please welcome our new Avenger!" Tony exclaimed. "Peter Quill, otherwise known as the amazing Starlord!"

"YES! YEAH! ALRIGHT!" Peter exclaimed, walking onstage, shaking Peter Quill's (who was on his way up onstage) hand. "Better luck next year. Yeah! Alright!"

Peter stepped up to the microphone as Tony facepalmed.

"People of New York, as new Avenger-" began Peter before Tony tapped him on the shoulder. "Hold up. I'm getting an important news flash from Mr. Stark. Go ahead Mr. Stark."

Tony whispered something to Peter.

"I'm making a complete what of myself?" Peter asked.

Tony whispered something else.

"The most embarrassing thing you ever saw?"

Tony whispered another thing.

"And now it's worse because I'm repeating everything you say into the microphone?"

"Peter." replied Tony as calmly as he could. "You didn't get the job."

"What?" aske Peter.

"You. Are. Not. An. Avenger." replied Tony.

"But why?" asked Peter.

"Look, it's nothing against you." replied Tony. "You're a great hero. But I gave the job to GalaxyKing-"

"Starlord." corrected Starlord.

"-because it's a big responsibility." replied Tony. "And well... he's more mature than you."

"I'm not mature?" asked Peter, sounding hurt.

"I mean this in the nicest of ways." replied Tony. "There's a word for you... and that word is... um..."

"Dork?" asked Flash.

"No. That's not right. Not a dork." replied Tony.

"A goofball?" asked Wanda.

"Closer, but no." replied Tony.

"A ding a ling?" Michelle guessed.

"A wingnut?" asked Liz.

"A Knucklehead McSpazington!" exclaimed Flash.

"Who said you could go twice?" snapped Tony. He looked back at Peter.

"What I'm saying is, you're a kid. And to be an Avenger, you have to be more... manly. You understand?" Tony responded as kindly as he could think.

"I...I guess so Mr. Stark." replied Peter, still sounding hurt but trying to hide it. "Anyways... congratulations Mr...um..."

"STARLORD!" exclaimed Starlord. "Why does nobody know who I am?"

"Congratulations. May the Avengers greet you with open arms." Peter told Starlord.

Peter walked off the stage.

"Peter-" began Tony as Peter walked away, sad.

"I'm ready... depression." replied Peter, walking back into the crowd. "I'm ready... depression."

* * *

Just then, Ned ran up to the crowd, throwing a basket of red and blue glitter in the air while wearing a t shirt reading "Go Peter!" over his clothes.

"Go Spiderman!" he exclaimed, throwing another handful of glitter in the air.

The crowd stared at him a second before walking inside Avengers Tower to continue the celebration, leaving Ned alone.

"Let's hear it for Peter! Guys?" asked Ned. "Where did everybody go? Did I miss something?"

**I am a little confused on who should be King Neptune and Princess Mindy, however. If you guys have any ideas, please let me know in the comments! **

**I understand I missed some parts, but they'll be incorporated later.**

**Hopefully, this clears up some Endgame sadness. **

**Thanks for reading! **


	2. Chapter 2

**Now I know you're wondering "Alice, why did it take so long to write this chapter?" **

**Well, I really wanted to continue this story, but for the love of me: I could not think of the match for King Neptune and Mindy. King Neptune mostly. So, late one night, I thought of Captain Marvel from the comics. Let's just say... she's not as nice as she is in the movie. Then I just used my powers of OC creation and came up with her intern, Minerva. Let's just say Carol's a bit... less than nice in the comics. This version of herself takes place based off of the graphic novel series _Civil War II _in which she kind of gets a little... out of control. She was also written to be a bit more impulsive and **

**Not sure how this will work out. Either it's going to be liked... or I'll have a bunch of angry Captain Marvel fans in the reviews. If it's not liked very much, I'll rewrite the chapter. If it's liked- we'll continue. **

**Anyways, enjoy this extra long chapter!**

Chapter 2:

"Court is now in session!"

Carol Danvers, aka Captain Marvel, was standing in her ship, looking at a young soilder standing in front of her

"So?" Carol asked. "You have confessed to the crime of touching my suit ?"

"Yes but-" the young man began.

"But what?" Carol asked.

"But you told me it was my job." replied the man. "I'm the official suit washer for everyone here. Including you."

"Well, then I guess I can't execute you." replied Carol. "Twenty years in prison it is."

"Miss Captain Marvel!"

A young woman, no older than seventeen, with long brown hair tied back in a braid, blue eyes, freckles, and dressed in a S.H.I.E.L.D uniform, walked in. She looked at the fighter kindly. "No punishment is necessary. You're free to go."

"Bless you Training Agent Minerva!" the solider exclaimed, quickly leaving.

"Minerva!" scolded Carol. "How dare you defy me?"

"In all respect miss, why do you have to be so mean?" asked Minerva.

Carol walked over to the window and looked out it into space.

"I'm one of the sole protectors of the galaxy." replied Carol. "It's my job to enforce the rules."

"You can do that." replied Minerva. "I know what you've been through is difficult, and you have a lot of power. But maybe you could show a little love and compassion instead of harsh punishments."

"That would be nice." one of the solders responded.

Carol looked to her young intern, then to the glass case that held her suit when she wasn't using it.

"What is this, Minerva?" asked Carol.

"Your suit." replied Minerva.

"And what does this suit do?" asked Carol.

"Covers up the fact your hair is way to bright due to the cosmic radiaton." replied Minerva.

"I'm not that bright!" Carol responded. "I'm shining. This helmet does more than distract from that No, this suit entitles the one who wears it to be in charge of keeping peace in the galaxy. And, someday, I hope you will wear it so you can become like me."

Minerva grabbed her head.

"My hair's going to be that bright?" she asked, shocked.

"Shining!" Carol corrected. "Anyways, you won't ever wear it if you can't learn to stop bending the rules!"

"Um... Miss Captain Marvel?" asked Minerva. "Where's your suit?"

Carol looked over at the glass case to where her suit was a second ago- to see it wasn't there.

"What the-" she asked. "My suit! Someone has stolen my superhero suit!"

* * *

Meanwhile, Justin Hammer, who knew that team of space resistant nanobots he made last spring would come in handy, eagerly held Captain Marvel's superhero costume in his hands.

"I'm telling you Lynn!" he exclaimed, setting the costume in a shipping box. "I love Plan Z!"

* * *

But anyways, let's get back to Peter and ignore the fact that the author had no idea who to put in for Mindy so she wrote up an OC on the spot.

Peter woke up the next day with a huge headache. Sitting up, he realized he was in his bed, empty cartons of ice cream and plastic spoons littering the floor.

"Why did Ned, Michelle, and I eat all that ice cream last night?" asked Peter.

Then it hit him: the fact he wasn't allowed to be an Avenger because he was too much of a kid.

"All right." replied Peter. "Get it together Parker. Just... stop thinking about it."

Peter paused for a moment.

"Hey, you know what? I actually feel better." replied Peter. "I can't even remember what I was so sad about in the first place!"

Michelle walked in the doorway, holding a bag from Mcdonald's.

"How's my favorite almost avenger?" she asked.

Peter sighed and buried his head in his hands.

"Yeah. Sorry about that." replied Michelle, walking over to Peter and sitting down on his bed next to him. "Why wouldn't Tony make you an Avenger? Because you were a kid?"

"Yeah." replied Peter sadly.

"That's insane!" Michelle responded. "That's like saying I'm a kid!"

Michelle pulled out a Happy Meal from her McDonald's bag and opened it.

"Hey, I was supposed to get a toy with this." Michelle responded, looking into the little red box. Then, she successfully pulled out a little _Onward_ figure in a plastic bag. "Here it is!"

"How'd you get in here anyways?" asked Peter.

"I decided to come over to see how you were. Your aunt let me in. You hit the ice cream pretty hard last night." replied Michelle, who was trying to set up her little plastic toy. "Ned's parents picked him up a few hours ago. Speaking of having to go somewhere, don't you have to be somewhere today?"

Peter looked over at his alarm clock.

"Oh no!" he exclaimed. "I'm late for my internship! I told Mr. Stark I'd be there..."

Peter looked sad again, remembering how Tony hadn't made him an Avenger. Shaking his head, he ran out the door.

"Wait!" Michelle exclaimed. "You should wash up first for Mr. Stark-"

Then, she remembered how Mr. Stark had hurt her friend.

And Michelle's blood boiled as she called Ned.

* * *

"Carol-"

"Call me Miss Captain Marvel."

"Miss Captain Marvel, don't you think you're overreacting?"

"Get in the ship Minerva. This won't take long at all. I know what I'm doing."

Carol walked into a post.

"And have that post arrested at once."

* * *

At Avenger towers, Tony was giving Peter Quill his first Avengers lesson.

"As a new avenger, Emmet-" Tony began.

"Starlord." corrected Starlord.

"Starlord, you must know the basic needs to help others." replied Tony.

"You must also learn about how to be caring to address the needs of others." replied Pepper.

"Hence why your first day of training is helping Pepper in her new store." replied Tony, pointing to where a small store was in Avengers tower.

Starlord sighed. This was going to be a long day.

* * *

"Two hundred dollars for a healing crystal?" asked Starlord.

"On a straw, Peter." replied Pepper. "It's on a straw."

Suddenly, there was a loud crash as a spaceship landed in front of Avengers tower. Carol exited in her backup suit (an old Kree uniform).

"Look Andy!" Pepper exclaimed. "Captain Marvel- I mean, Carol Danvers is coming to Avengers tower! And she's got money!"

Carol glanced around Avengers tower, then spoke.

"I wish to speak to the one who addresses himself as Anthony Stark." replied Carol. "I want him presented to me at once."

Pepper and Starlord ran out of Pepper's store to Carol.

"Greetings Miss Danvers." replied Pepper. "Would you wish to buy something? I have a fine array of essential oils-"

"No." replied Carol.

Tony walked up to Carol.

"I'm on to you Stark!" shouted Carol, her powers sparking in her hands. "You have stolen my superhero suit, and you can't deny it! Give me back my suit at once!"

"With what proof?" asked Tony.

Carol held up a sticky note that read _I stole your crown! Signed, Tony Stark. _

"That's crazy!" Tony exclaimed. "I didn't steal your suit!"

Suddenly, Tony's phone rang. He answered it. A man's voice (that sounded like Justin's only more muscular), rang over the phone so loudly even those in Avengers Tower could hear it.

"Uh, hey Mr. Stark." the voice said. "This is the guy you sold Captain Marvel's suit to. I just wanted to say thanks again for selling me the suit. Captain Marvel's suit. I sold it to a lady in Marvel Studios, and I just wanted to say thanks again for selling me the suit. Captain Marvel's suit. Which is now in Marvel Studios. Bye."

Tony closed his phone and looked at a steaming Captain Marvel.

"Well..." he replied awkwardly. "Don't you just hate wrong numbers?"

"My suit is at Marvel Studios?!" asked Carol angrily, her cosmic energy radiating in her hands.

The others around Tony (minus Starlord and Pepper), knew the battle approaching and ran off.

* * *

Meanwhile, in his office, Justin closed his cell phone and looked at Lynn.

"I'm telling you Lynn." he responded. "I love Plan Z."

"You said that." Lynn responded.

* * *

Back at Avenger Towers, Peter, who had ice cream stains on his face and clothes as well as messy hair, ran in to see Carol, ready to aim cosmic energy directly at Tony.

"Hold up!" he exclaimed. "I have something I want to say about-"

Michelle suddenly walked into Stark Towers, so angry that smoke was about ready to pour out of her ears. Ned was following after her, trying to calm her down.

"I have something I'd like to say about Tony Stark!" Michelle shouted. "Peter has worked for Tony Stark for many years and always thought he was a great boss."

"You see?" Tony told Carol. "Great boss."

"I now realize he is a GREAT BIG JERK!" Michelle shouted at Tony. "Peter deserves that Avenger's position! But you didn't give it to him because you say he's a kid! Well Peter is 100% man! And I am 100% woman, and I have something to say to you!"

Michelle blew a raspberry at Tony, then calmed down.

"There." she responded. "I think I made my point."

Peter facepalmed.

"I tried to stop her-" began Ned to Peter.

"Well." replied Carol. "Anyone else?"

The room was quiet.

"No one?" asked Carol. "Well then-"

Carol fired a cosmic blast at Tony that he managed to dodge, but it did light his pants on fire. Pepper, looking around nervously, grabbed a tray of iced lattes that was being brought to a meeting on floor 3B and dumped them on her husband's flaming pants, extinguishing them, while Starlord grabbed a fire extinguisher in case they ignited again.

"Now, Tony Stark-" Carol began, radiating more cosmic energy. "You will-"

"Wait!" Peter exclaimed. "I'm flattered you would do this on my account, but not being an avenger is nothing to kill Tony Stark over!"

"Tony Stark stole my suit and sold it to someone who may be an enemy!" shouted Carol. "Now it's at Marvel Studios. He must pay for his crimes."

"But isn't it a little silly to kill someone over a stolen superhero costume?" asked Ned. "Can't you make another?"

"You don't understand!" exclaimed Carol. "My suit was a symbol of justice and hope! And between you and me... all the cosmic radiation on my hair makes it too shiny, and the suit takes away from that."

"I'm sure it's not that noticeable-" began Peter.

Carol took off her hat to reveal her shiny, short blonde hair, glowing so brightly that it filled the towers with light.

"BRIGHT!" screamed everyone in the building.

"MY EYES!" Starlord shouted, covering his eyes.

"Alright, alright." replied Carol, putting a paper bag on over her hair.

"Look. I'm mad at Tony too." replied Michelle. "But I don't want him to die over it."

"Would you spare Tony's life if we got your crown back?" asked Peter.

"You, go to Marvel Studios?" asked Carol. "No one's ever gone to Marvel Studios and returned! What makes you think you could. You're just a kid."

"But I'm not a kid." replied Peter. "I can do it."

"Run along." replied Carol. "I have to finish this."

"No!" Peter shouted as he ran in front of Tony.

"Peter, no!" Tony exclaimed.

"I won't let you!" Peter exclaimed.

"Very well." replied Carol. "I'll vaporize you both."

"Miss Captain Marvel! Stop it!"

Minerva ran into Avengers Tower to Carol.

"Can't you get through one day without vaporizing someone?" asked Minerva.

"Minerva, I told you to stay in the ship!" Carol told Minerva.

"Where's your love and compassion?" asked Minerva, putting her arm around Peter. "Look at this little guy. He's willing to risk his life to save his boss."

"Minerva-" began Carol.

"Please? At least let him try. What have you go to lose?" asked Minerva. "Might I remind you of your special problem?"

Minerva pulled off the paper bag from Captain Marvel's head, causing her hair to shine brightly again.

"BRIGHT!" screamed everyone in the building.

"MY EYES!" Starlord shouted, covering his eyes.

"Alright." replied Carol. "I'll give them a chance. But if your champion fails to return, I'll splatter Sherlock here all over the walls."

Tony paled.

"Alright Peter." replied Carol. "I'll give you ten days to return my suit!"

"Peter can do it in nine!" Michelle shouted.

"Eight!" Captain Marvel responded.

"Seven!" Ned shouted, joining in.

"Guys, I love how you have faith in me, but please!" whispered Peter.

"Six it is then." replied Captain Marvel.

"Five." Ned responded before Peter quickly covered Ned's mouth with his hand.

"Alright. If you two are so certain, you can join him. Until then, Tony will be taken into my custody." replied Carol, as two kree soldiers appeared next to her. "He will remain frozen where he stands!"

"wait, what-" asked Tony as two Kree soldiers pulled out freezing rays and literally froze Tony right where he was standing.

"Hey, who turned on the AC?" asked Starlord. Then he looked over at Tony. "Mr. Stark! Oh no, this is terrible! Who's going to sign my paycheck?"

"Come along Minerva." replied Carol, turning around and heading back to her ship.

Minerva looked to Peter, Ned, and Michelle.

"Look guys. The road to Marvel Studios is really dangerous. There's crooks, killers, and monsters everywhere. And what's even worse is there's a giant who guards the outskirts of the studio who preys on innocent travelers! Don't let her catch you, or else you'll be taken to her lair and never seen again!"

Ned looked over at Peter.

"Peter." he whispered. "She's really pretty."

"Here, take this." replied Minerva, handing Peter a sack.

"What's this?" asked Peter.

"It's a magical bag of winds." replied Minerva. "I borrowed it from a wizard."

"You're hot." Ned blurted out. "I mean, that's hot."

"Once you find the suit, open the bag of winds and you'll be blown back here." replied Minerva.

"Minerva!" called Carol from her ship.

"I'm coming!" Minerva called. "Good luck Peter Parker."

"How do you know my name?" asked Peter.

"I'm training to be the next galactic guardian. I'm know all the names of the allies and enemies of S.H.I.E.L.D." replied Minerva.

"What's my name?" asked Ned.

"You're Ned Leeds." replied Minerva.

Ned blushed slightly.

"Minerva!" called Carol again.

"I got to go." replied Minerva. "I believe in you guys."

"Thanks Minerva!" Peter called as Minerva ran out to Carol's ship. The ship flew off.

Peter looked over to Tony Stark.

"Don't worry Mr. Stark." replied Peter. "Ned, Michelle, Starlord and I-"

"Pass." Starlord responded.

"Ned, Michelle-" began Peter.

Michelle and Ned waved.

"-are going to get that suit back and save you from Captain Marvel's wrath!" Peter responded.

"You've got nothing to worry about." Ned responded.

"Your life is in our hands." replied Michelle.

Tony looked skeptical.

"C'mon guys!" Peter responded. "Let's go get that suit!"

**And our heroes are off! **


End file.
